British born Indian Geeta met her Swiss husband with what felt like a good dose of Karma. An astrologer had told her parents that she would one day meet someone from the mountains, and her brother would meet someone from the South. Naturally, Geeta’s parents assumed that meant a husband for Geeta from the Himalayas and a daughter-in-law from Madras. Geeta went on to marry Swiss, and her brother married a Kiwi. Despite struggling with the high levels of Swiss discipline at times, Geeta maintains that we are all human beneath it all and share more in common than can meet the eye! She ultimately loves the Swiss culture and is grateful for the enlightening insight!
Name: Geeta
Country of Birth: U.K.
Years in Switzerland? 0.75 years
Married Swiss? 9 years
2 Duvets or 1? One.
Photographer Sephi Bergeson
HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SWISS PARTNER?
I was on holiday in the Maldives with my family, and we met whilst staying in the same hotel. But I actually caught my first sight of my future husband on board the emirates 747 going from Dubai to Male. It was August 2003, to be precise!
HOW DID YOU DECIDE (OR NOT) TO CALL SWITZERLAND HOME?
My husband always said he would like to return to Switzerland one day and made this clear during our engagement. We had to find the right time to leave London whilst the kids were still young, and in my case, I had to find the courage too.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH TWO LANGUAGES AT HOME? HOW DO YOU ENCOURAGE THE ‘MINORITY’ LANGUAGE?
We speak English between us, and my husband speaks Swiss German with the children. My older son was a fan of the ‘tonies’ German storytelling box back in London, and we also had some Swiss-German CD’s in Basler Deutsch. Lately, my younger son has acquired the ‘tiger box’, which tells stories in Swiss German. We have the odd Swiss-German film such as Kasperli and utilize any such tool we can find (see 10 Swiss Children’s stories for more inspo).
WHAT HAVE BEEN SOME CHALLENGES:
Like many fathers, my husband wants the children to grow up to be well mannered and disciplined individuals. He is not in favour of stopping off at the autobahn MacDonalds and does not permit jumping on the sofa to a point where the neighbour’s chandelier shakes. I am probably more permissive than I should be, but I sometimes feel like I need to be, to balance out all the Swiss rules and regulations! In all honesty, the kids would probably be way too loose if all was just left to me; hence it is perhaps a good thing that I ended up with someone Swiss.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT BEING MARRIED SWISS?
As a person of Indian origin, I find two old cultures coming together colourful and enlightening. I have had the occasional intoxicated bloke at a party tell me that our cultures are too disparate and that the differences will eventually cause problems. I can see where this assumption comes from looking at our wedding photos with all the flowers, leaves and elephant in contrast to my husband’s neat Midnight blue suit! On date nights, we discuss the differences between how we were brought up as we sometimes have the typical date night agenda of unintentionally discussing the kids! My brother is married to a kind-hearted Kiwi from the very South of the South Island. Through close relationships like this, I have learnt that beneath it, all people are just the same- we are all just human.
WHAT IS YOUR FAMILY’S FAVOURITE MEAL?
We love Käse fondue and would also often have this in London. I am not sure whether my children love more the melting mountain cheese or our family’s ritual sitting together around a beautifully painted caquelon; the atmosphere in our kitchen is just gorgeous. The cold weather, the splash of Kirsch Schnapps and the bubbly epic cheese. (If this has you curious check out Kristin’s article on cheese fondue for the full ‘grassroots’ low-down!)
WHAT’S SOMETHING FROM YOUR HOME CULTURE THAT YOU HAVE INTRODUCED INTO YOUR MULTICULTURAL RELATIONSHIP?
Our more exuberant weekend BBQ’s have morphed into Indo-Swiss culinary affairs. Did you ever imagine that tandoori chicken goes very well with Kartoffelsalat (potato salad)? Also, lamb kebabs and Schlangenbrot (snake bread) make a match made in heaven! All of this cooked with Swiss Alpine Ghee is BBQ paradise during a long and hot Indian Summer in Switzerland!
(IN NON-PANDEMIC TIMES) DO YOU GET TO GO BACK “HOME” OFTEN?
When we lived in London, we came to Switzerland very often; hence I do not anticipate any problems with the reverse once Boris gives us the ‘thumbs up’. It has not been entirely bad to have to go ‘cold turkey’ and move to Switzerland completely unable to quickly ‘nip back’. We have accelerated from people who frequently visited Switzerland to people who actually inhabit this mountainous land. Within a short space of time, I have become 90% proficient in my pronunciation of ‘Chuchichäschtli’ (kitchen cupboard)!
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU GRAB/EAT WHEN YOU ARRIVE BACK IN THE UK? AND WHEN YOU RETURN TO SWITZERLAND?
When I finally get to return to London, I plan to fill my “Chuchichäschtli” with M&S crumpets and English Strawberry Jam. I will then further fill my cupboard as well as a suitcase with Yorkshire tea. I look forward to an early dinner at my favourite restaurant, “Granger and co” on Westbourne Grove. The shrimp burger followed by the white chocolate pavlova may have to be a more than one-time indulgence during my trip!
In Switzerland, I find that simple food tastes best. The high-quality produce makes even the simplest ‘Blattsalat’ top my list of foods I crave upon entering the country! I also love seasonal specialties here in Switzerland, such as the current much-loved Bärlauch (wild-garlic).
HAS BEING MARRIED SWISS MADE INTEGRATION EASIER?
I don’t identify with the word expat in the stereotypical sense, although I am an expat of sorts by definition. And I don’t rush to join any type of expat groups, although I also don’t seek local ones either. I guess I do not really see the divisions between expats and locals, although I am aware they exist for many. We had an existing group of Swiss friends in Switzerland prior to our move here, which has given me a good understanding of the culture and folks to cheers “Gute Rutsch” with, at the end of each year!
CAN YOU THINK OF A GOOD STORY OF WHEN YOU HAVE HAD BOTH TO COMPROMISE BECAUSE OF YOUR TWO DIFFERENT CULTURES?
Call it culture or more genetics, but I definitely need more beach holidays than my husband. The olive tree laden Mediterranean sadly does not cut it for me either. I crave hot sun with frangipani and hibiscus plants as well as deeply orange papaya at breakfast. When we lived in the UK, we definitely had more ski trips than beach holidays. I am hoping that now we live in the Snow, things may change in my favour. I also find the Swiss are more cautious to travel far with young kids, but ours are coming out of nappies now, so fingers crossed for an exotic trip soon!
ANY HUMOROUS MISUNDERSTANDINGS?
Well, let’s just say it took me some time to realize that only a ‘splash’ of schnapps is required in cheese fondue. The first time I excitedly made this for my friends back in England, my back up’ beans on toast’ came in very handy!
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE QUESTION OF SAMICHLAUS/ SANTA CLAUS/ CHRISTKINDLI AND OTHER CROSS-CULTURAL TRADITIONS?
Swiss Christmas traditions are of preference to me as they epitomize Winter’s magic whilst being less commercialized than back in the UK. It is lovely and cosy, having your home smell like a Weichnachtbackeri for most of December thanks to the traditional flow of “Guetzli”. I feel like the Samiclaus visit falling on the 6th December kicks off the festive season at just the right point, and we celebrated this back in London too. The kids get goose-bumps when they hear the distance echo from Samichlaus’s bells, his wizardly voice and his eerily informed knowledge of the good and bad things they have been up to.
It has concerned me in the past that Christmas is very close to Diwali, and I don’t like the children to get spoilt with too many toys. I began a tradition last year where the children receive books at Diwali and then whatever they want (within reason!) at Christmas.
IS SWITZERLAND NOW HOME?
Switzerland is now home, and we all have our own journeys towards integration. In-between learning the language and getting to know people, I will be sharing more of my experience on the series ‘making Switzerland home’, coming soon here on the blog.
Thank you to our wedding photographer Sephi Bergeson for his permission to use the professional photographs from our wedding in Rajasthan. More of his concepts can be explored at www.silkphotos.com and www.sephibergeson.com.
About Geeta
Having lived in the U.K. her whole life, Geeta recently relocated to Switzerland with her Swiss husband and two boys. She loves tea, trees, nice shower gels and anything creative.
