Ellen’s Married Swiss journey began in Basel’s Irish pub but soon became a long-distance affair. Then after finishing her degree in Melbourne, Australia, she moved back to Switzerland to join her now-husband for ‘“just a few years”.
10 years later – with two established careers, two adorable boys, one lovely house and several lovely friends – they are settled in Switzerland and loving it. However, the pull of family & friends (and Melbourne’s Asian cuisine) is strong, and the idea of one day trying their hand at living down under is still at the back of Ellen’s mind. Will she ever switch Grüezi for G’day?
Name: Ellen Jobling Otter
Country of Birth: Australia
Years in Switzerland? 12 years
Married Swiss? 10 years
2 Duvets or 1? One. Although after reading other responses to this questions I now think we might need to reconsider
How did you meet your Swiss partner?
A very traditional and romantic Swiss setting: the Irish pub in Basel at 2 am on a Saturday morning. I was 21 years old and in Switzerland for a one-year internship – so I was more in the market for a good time, not a husband.
How did you decide (or not) to call Switzerland home?
After doing/surviving long-distance for a year, while I finished my degree in Melbourne, we decided that the easiest way to live in the same continent was for me to get a job in Switzerland (with the company I had interned for). The idea was that after a couple of years we would move to Australia, but two years quickly became three then four then ten, and by that time we had established careers, great friends, a lovely house – and it became harder and harder to consider giving up all the amazing aspects of life in Switzerland.
How do you deal with two languages at home? How do you encourage the “minority” language?
We follow the one parent one language method; I speak English with the kids and Thomas speaks Swiss German. So far, it seems to be working. Our dinner table conversation would probably seem a little odd to outsiders, as it is a fairly frenetic mix of the two languages, but because we all understand both, it works (well, the almost-one-year-old seems to get a little lost, but he tries his best).
What have been some challenges?
Being so far away from my family and childhood friends is definitely the toughest part, and although it is so great having my husband’s wonderful family close by, I am sometimes weirdly jealous that he gets to see his family regularly and I don’t get to see mine. Also, by the end of every February, I am extremely sick of the cold and dark and questioning my life choices.
What is your favourite thing about being married Swiss?
I didn’t know much about Switzerland when I met my husband, so he can feel reassured that I genuinely did just fall for his good looks and winning personality. However, knowing what I know now about life in Switzerland, I should have also been pursuing him for the nationality. Switzerland is an incredible country – the landscape, the traditions, the economy, the political system – and the people. Some days it feels like I won the nationality jackpot – of the two best countries in the world (based on my totally unbiased assessment), I grew up in one and married into the other.
Your family’s favourite meal:
My favourite Swiss meal is raclette, but given my son doesn’t eat it, I guess I can’t claim it as a family favourite. I think the family favourite would have to be Hörnli G’Hackts, complete with Apfelmüs.
What’s something from your home culture that you’ve introduced into your family?
One of the first foods for both our kids was a Vegemite sandwich, which I consider an element of Australian culture. Along with reading Aussie books and eating Aussie food, I really want my kids to appreciate (and hopefully adopt) the funny and friendly Aussie approach to life.
(In non-pandemic times) Do you get to go back “home” often?
Yes, we usually go back every 1-2 years, with my parents spending a few weeks here every year. The pandemic has made it a tough year (likely two), but I am hopeful that we can get back to this rhythm soon. I have a nephew I have not even met yet – so I am really hanging out for a visit.
What is the first thing you grab/eat when you arrive back to Australia? And when you return to Switzerland?
Strangely, I really miss licorice, as the Swiss do not really do proper licorice (that sickly sweet Haribo offering does not count). I also love the amazing Asian food in Melbourne, so I try to fit in plenty of dumplings and curries whenever I am back. We are always happy to return to Swiss cheese and bread (which after many years, I have finally accepted is a perfectly acceptable dinner on its own).
Has being married Swiss-made integrating easier?
Yes, definitely, but I think learning German was even more important for integration. Even if most Swiss people speak English, they understandably prefer to speak their native language when relaxing in social settings. Speaking the language also means I can interact with parents and kids at my children’s Kita and Kindergarten, follow local news stories, know what I am voting on in referendums and just engage in all those little daily interactions with people in the town (well, when going into town and interacting with people was a thing we did).
Any humorous misunderstandings?
My husband’s strict adherence to rules really blew my mind in the first couple of years. I remember when we had been dating a few months and he was helping clean my apartment. I asked him to please vacuum and he checked his watch and said he could, in 20 minutes. ‘Huh, why do you have to wait 20 minutes?’ ‘In case it disturbs the neighbours during lunch time’. Two things about this were incredible to me: firstly, that there was a rule dictating when people could vacuum in their own home, and secondly, that this 24-year-old bloke was adamant about the need to follow such a rule. This situation repeated when it came to recycling, mowing the lawn on a Sunday, making noise after 10pm etc.
How do you deal with the question of Samichlaus/Santa Claus /Christkindli and other cross-cultural traditions?
The Swiss Samichlaus lives in the Black Forest and comes on the 6th December, and the Australian Santa Claus lives at the North Pole and comes while we’re sleeping on the 24th December. So far this has worked, although I am predicting some tough questioning in the years to come. For Swiss events, like Fasnacht, I love going all-in on the Swiss traditions, often with more enthusiasm than the Swiss themselves.
Is Switzerland now home?
I definitely want to live in Australia again one day, but at this stage in life our biggest priority is to be wherever we have the most quality time with our kids, and for now, that is Switzerland. It is also nice knowing that a move back to Australia would never be a mistake – with these two countries as your options, you can’t really go wrong.
About Ellen
Originally from Australia, I moved to Switzerland at 20 for a marketing internship. I met a Swiss man in a typical Swiss romantic setting (the local Irish pub), and twelve years later I find myself still here – living in Basel Land, married to the man from the pub, and raising another couple of Swiss citizens.
You can read more of Ellen’s writing here on SFT and make sure you follow Ellen over on instagram.
