Settling down in the rolling but quiet hills of Zürioberland would never have crossed the mind of US-born Ashley. A chef and yoga teacher, Ashley spent her 20’s as a nomadic adventurer, cooking her way around the world. It was that job as a private chef on a boat based out of Boston, where she met a fellow nomad, a Swiss-engineer/deckhand, and quickly fell in love. Now, eight years married Swiss, Ashley shares how she swapped out the backpack for a house renovation and is learning to integrate into a world where kids walk alone to school.
Name: Ashley Schütz
Country of Birth: USA
Years in Switzerland? 5 years
Married Swiss? 8 years
2 Duvets or 1? One. I’m way too overwhelmed by all that fabric with two!
How did you meet your Swiss partner?
We met on a boat in Boston. I was the private chef on board, and he was the engineer/ deckhand. Dating happens at a fast pace when you live together and eat every meal together from the moment you meet. We told each other stories of the places we had been wandering around the globe for the entirety of our 20’s. He was a sailor in the southern hemisphere from NZ to Antarctica, and I was a traveling chef and yoga teacher from Iceland to Indonesia. One day, within our first two weeks of knowing each other, he told me a story about learning to respectfully hunt, kill and butcher a wild sheep in the Faulklin islands with an Argentine gaucho. Nothing gets a chefs heart pumping like a true farm to table tale, I tell ya! I was hooked. The rest is history.
How did you decide (or not) to call Switzerland home?
We lived on the boat we worked on for the first two years in the Caribbean and Central America. Then we moved to California, where I am from, to get married and have our first daughter. Instinct and years of prior nomadic wandering brought us back to Europe with intentions to make a home in Spain or Portugal. We ended up staying in CH when certain health concerns came up with our daughter, and we fell softly into the support of our community here of like-minded friends. CH chose us it seems.
How do you deal with two languages at home? How do you encourage the “minority” language?
English is our home language. My husband volleys between Swiss German and English with the girls. Our kids have an equal amount of English-speaking friends as they do German-speaking friends in CH, so at the moment, it just flows.
What has been some challenges?
Obviously, language and official paperwork are dizzying at best for me, but more than that, it’s the cultural differences. I’ve had trouble developing some relationships because of how I, as a Californian, interpret or project things. For example, I’m not punctual … like not at all. Timely commitments are VERY important here in CH. Or when leaving a party (remember those?) I would naturally not go around the room and shake hands with every guest; I say goodbye to the room as a whole and depart. These cultural differences are subtle but have been ongoing for me to clear up afterwards with Swiss friends. It’s a process of assimilation, I know. Still tolerable, but sometimes it does get the best of me.
What is your favourite thing about being married Swiss?
The man I married.
Your families favourite meal:
I cook according to moods and seasons, but something we can all always agree on is a big platter of smashed potatoes loaded with whatever our fridge has to offer – boil potatoes, then smash the shape with the bottom of a pan. Fry both sides in olive oil, butter and thin slices of garlic. Dollop with creme fraiche, chives, shaved shallots, crispy bacon, dill, fried sage, pickled chilis, or crumbled feta- whatever you have!
What’s something from your home culture that you’ve introduced into your family?
Aside from flamboyant Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions, it’s really just our food, music and high volume American accents that give us away.
(In non-pandemic times) Do you get to go back “home” often?
The dreamy goal is once a year.
What is the first thing you grab/eat when you arrive back to the USA? And when you return to Switzerland?
In CA it’s Tacos, tacos…and more tacos *wipes a tear of deep longing.
In CH it’s bread and würst.
Has being married Swiss-made integrating easier?
Absolutely.
When have you both had to make compromises because of cultural differences?
As someone who learned to drive in LA, I have an almost annoying urge for choosing the fastest route to drive (and as I’m always late, it’s essential), and I have a keen impulse for road rage. If you choose the wrong highway in LA, it could be an extra 2hr of driving on any given day. Of course, this is very unlikely to happen here on the Zurioberland country roads, which drives my husband mad. In CH, I try to bite my tongue in the car when I’m with him. Back in CA, I do all the driving and horn honking.
Any humous misunderstandings?
Choosing the names for our kids was a special task with both languages to consider. I once texted him the idea on naming our baby girl Marlowe. He called me back and said, what the hell kind of name is “Mar-low-veh”?
How do you deal with the question of Samichlaus/Santa Claus /Christkindli/Christmas or other cross-cultural traditions applicable to your relationship?
We do both. Our kids are still young, so for now they still buy it.
Is Switzerland now home?
Yes. We recently renovated a home, so we are going to be here for a bit. Plus, I don’t know how I can ever live somewhere where I feel this safe letting my kids walk to school on their own. This is such a wild concept for my American brain (and it took a good chunk of time to establish comfort.)
About Ashley
Ashley Schütz, a native of Southern California, spent much of her time following culinary school in various kitchens around the globe. When she is not traveling as a private chef, she is teaching yoga at home, catering small gatherings or creating recipes for The Feisty Feast, a feminist cookbook she created with a fellow expat here in CH. She resides in ZuriOberland with her husband and two daughters. Visit her website for more.
